Roads Less Travelled by

We traded the coziness and idleness of our Wisteria Lane holidays for the precariousness of the road. Sherry and Jeff were amazing hosts but the time finally came to leave comfort and set out on a journey, of which we didn’t really know what to expect. There was a basic itinerary but it was more than obvious that most decisions would be taken spontaneously and on the spot. Given the distance and length of our trip, everybody kept telling us that a GPS device was a must. Snubbing the majority’s advice may either coerce you to admit they were right or let you justify the claim that they are dopey and delusional. I hate to say that but in our case, the former has every appearance of being prevalent. On the very first day, we took one wrong exit, realized the mistake a tad too late and ended up traversing desolate roads in the Appalachians. Constructing them must have devoured loads of money but we were the only ones using them at that time. Instead of seeing other people, we were only encountering deers. Since it was getting late and dark, the situation grew somewhat hazardous. If you hit a deer while driving, it’s your hood and the animal that are going to suffer. If you do it when riding a motorcycle, you will probably share the deer’s lot and give up the ghost on the side of the road. The stars had already filled up the sky when we managed to find a McDondald’s and get connected to the internet with a view to going back on track. I had never expected to be that glad at seeing those chintzy yellow arches in the distance. Besides, it was vindicable to surmise that this country was crammed with WI-FI signals, from the most northerly fishing stations in Alaska to alligator swamps in Florida. Actually, we hoped that even the deers and skunks of the Appalachian Mountains would spread wireless network signals wherever they might move. The reality turned out to be slightly different, though. Having already figured out how to get back on our way towards Niagara Falls, we were looking forward to going past another symbol of American mass culture. Wal-Mart, that is. These stores have infested the American horizon nearly as successfully as fast food chains. Once in the shop, we swiftly directed our footsteps to the electronics department and left a couple minutes later with fewer dollars in our pockets and a GPS. Although Chaquida (that’s how the device has been dubbed) makes mistakes (after all, she’s just a woman;), she is still an invaluable source of road planning help. McDonald’s’ WI-FI comes second.